Dating culture in Jakarta: balancing love and finance

Written by Aira Linda | Read in Indonesian

Valentine's Day was celebrated just a while ago. Yes, at least by couples in the capital city of Jakarta.

Many couples exchanged chocolates and gifts, and planned a special date. It could be far more luxurious than the usual date. Some of them also uploaded their dating moments on social media.

This is interesting because the culture of dating–or dating culture in South Jakarta slang–among young people in the capital city to celebrate Valentine's Day is growing. The thing is, many people say that Valentine’s Day is not part of our culture.

But apart from the Valentine's Day moment and the controversy surrounding it, dating culture in the capital city is indeed interesting to be explored and dived into, especially about the financial side and the businesses that revolve around it. Because going out for a date generally costs money, right?

From a cup of coffee to open bottle

Make no mistake, income and expenses for dating must be calculated carefully. Especially in this so-called metropolitan capital city.

If everything is based only on love, our finances can fall apart because dating costs eat up a significant portion of our monthly income. In reality, not all of Jakarta's youth are well-off and make a lot of money.

One story went viral on Twitter and Instagram about the costs of dating in Jakarta. Through Instagram Story, @overheardkeuangan shared the story of a man who spends Rp2,000,000 every month for dating in the capital city, from eating to snacking, travelling and other expenses.

It's even more interesting because many say it's too economical for the "Jakarta class". In fact, some replied with sarcasm, "Did they only eat gultik?" (gulai tikungan, a legendary street food in Jakarta).

The funny thing is, there were many replies comparing their fate: A commenter said that he could spend Rp1,200,000 per day on a date in the capital city.

"But in SCBD, even lunch costs (Rp)600 thousand, (Rp)500 thousand for dinner for two and a movie, then (Rp)150 thousand for Starbucks, (Rp)1,250,000 per day. If we meet 3 times a week, it will be (Rp)3,750,000. (Rp)15 million a month,” said one of the commenters, whose name is hidden.

As if not wanting to be outdone, there was another commenter who said the date didn't stop at watching a movie, going for a meal and coffee. There is also the customary “opening the bottle” (of alcohol).

"I meet my partner only once a week, from lunch at GI (Rp)400 thousand, then coffee & snacks (Rp)400 (thousand), in the evening (go to) Boca Rica to drink, the cheapest is Jameson (Rp)2 million++. If we’re not saving money (we open) Macallan (Rp)3.6 million," said another commenter whose name is also hidden.

So, isn't the dating culture in the capital city interesting? From just having a cup of coffee in a cafe to opening a bottle, you need to spend an amount of money that seems to take up a large portion of your monthly income.

Let’s take a look at the regional income: the regional minimum wage (UMR) and the average salary for employees in Jakarta are only around Rp5,000,000. However, the cost of dating in the city can be two to three times that amount per month. It’s true that there are people who make far beyond Rp5,000,000, but it is still “funny”.

So, of course we think about the ideal cost of dating that can fulfil the capital city's dating culture standard.

A research titled "Average Costs of a "Cheap Date" in Cities Around the World in 2019" published by the Statista Research Department on 5 August 2022 revealed that the cheapest dating cost in Jakarta is $45 or around Rp600,000.

It includes transportation, lunch or dinner for two people, two movie tickets and hanging out at a café.

To verify this, the writer asked several people in Jakarta about their cheapest dating cost, and many agreed. One of them is Anastasya, a 27-year-old woman who lives in North Jakarta.

"During dating, I usually go for a meal and coffee or hang out and walk around the mall, around Rp500,000-Rp600,000 per day. Meet once a week. Four times in a month without any activity. But if we open the bottle, of course it can cost more than Rp2,000,000. Dating really costs a lot, I have to spend money if my partner doesn’t pay for me," she said.

Business and social media support

Sure enough, for matters of the heart, sometimes a person can make a sacrifice desperately, including in terms of money. Moreover, there are many aspects that support dating culture in the capital city to run and develop.

One of them is the support from businesses and creative industries. For example, today we can find a lot of content that recommends coffee shops, restaurants, hotels, as well as tourist attractions with the trending tag "hidden gems".

This kind of content is present in almost all social media platforms, and almost every city has such places. The aim? Of course to attract many people, including couples in the capital city, to come and experience the place.

With the role of businesses and the flood of recommended content on social media, it's no wonder that the dating activity and dating place options are so, so varied, supporting lovebirds in the capital city to try it, seemingly driving the existing dating culture. Especially if the recommended content goes viral; almost everyone wants to try it.

On the other hand, this phenomenon definitely opens opportunities for businesses to create a business and promote it via creative content. Especially for businesses that not only sell products, but also sell experiences and visuals to showcase on social media.

Undoubtedly, many new businesses have sprung up, each with more unique concepts and they all vie for attention. For example, there is a cafe with the Studio Ghibli concept in Jakarta, fine dining Lounge in The Sky, art installations and workshops, as well as various tourist attractions or restaurants with the foolproof keywords "Balinese atmosphere in Jakarta".

Dating budget takes priority

The phenomenon of dating culture in the capital city of Jakarta, or maybe in other big cities, makes dating budgets crucial.

Again, to have a perfect date, we also have to be good at managing the budget, right? Do not let the goal of being happy with your partner make your wallet wail.

Interestingly and in fact, some people have already set a budget for dating, even to the point of including it in their priority budget. Financial planner Tommy Hilman said it is actually good, especially if we really feel that we have limited funds and need control.

“There needs to be a special allocation and budget. What is wrong is if you don't set a budget, because there will be no limit and it can interfere with other financial posts. That's why, if it's routine, consistent and often, it's better to include it in the monthly budget. But we need to determine the limit first. We can see it from how many times we go on a date in a month, and know the pattern," he added.

Dating costs can be included in the entertainment and vacation budget. The percentage can vary for each person, depending on their income and needs. What we must remember is not to let the cost of dating interfere with the flow of other posts, especially the basic needs and obligations that cannot be postponed.

Or don't go on a date using a credit card or paylater to get into debt until it gets out of hand.

“If you can and are able to pay the instalments, that's okay. But if your funds are limited, then don't. Even though there is a certain dating culture in big cities, think twice," Tommy suggested.

After all, dating can also be inexpensive, even in the capital. It depends on the definition of dating and the lifestyle of each person and their partner. There are those who are happy to go for a walk in the park and buy coffee, but there are also those who have to open a bottle to feel “alive”.

“Check, don’t let your cash flow be negative and record every expense to track the dating funds. Then review periodically, if you really need adjustments, do it. Then start again from the calculation stage,“ he concluded.

In the end, dating culture in the capital city makes it so that love is not the only capital to start a romantic relationship and dating; financial capital must also be taken into consideration. Even with a lot of capital, whether the relationship can make it down the aisle is another question. So, if we may ask, how much did you spend for your Valentine date?